Menso

None of you need to say it (and judging by the number of hits I get, none is an accurate count of my readers), because I know it already: I am an idiot. You’ll never get an argument from me about that. I am not smart. Mensa wouldn’t even allow me to clean the puddles of piss on the floor of their bathrooms.

What’s frightening, however, isn’t that I am a dumbass, but that there are people who are greater dumbasses than me. A lot of them. Quite probably numbering in the multiple millions. And that isn’t even counting christians.

Even more scary are those who aren’t dumber than me. The so-called geniuses and 150+ IQ types. I know these people, because the dull grey building in which I work is apparently populated with a lot of them. I also had the considerable misfortune of being surrounded by them at school.

So, how do I know for certain that these people were/are poindexters? Simple: they never let an opportunity to tell me about it pass. In fact, an iron-clad absolute characteristic … one you can hang your hat on as being 100% dead-on balls accurate is the fact that so-called geniuses love to tell you that they are geniuses.

Patronizing cunts.

Don’t get me wrong. I have all the respect in the world for people who can pontificate endlessly about the intricacies of string theory, or who grasp the subtle complexities of Riemann Sums, but I have never heard any of these self-proclaimed uber-brains actually discuss these things. Instead, these loudmouth eggheads seem to want to go on and on about themselves, and how smart they are, or how they chose their current life, even though they could have picked any profession.

So, it started me wondering. Why are these people, who make it a point to go out of their way to tell me just how smart they are, the biggest social retards? I mean, they stand too close when they talk. They constantly interrupt while someone else is speaking (or just don’t bother to listen). They blame others (non-genius types) for their own errors. They will constantly talk about something, then add a remark implying that everyone else is too estupid to understand. They are inconsiderate, obnoxious, arrogant bastards.

And then it hit me. These guys aren’t really the smarty-pantses they claim they are. Sure, they got some brains, but for the most part, the guys that have to keep reminding everyone about how advanced they are really aren’t. It’s just that they need to be for their own pathetic little competitive streak. Some guys compensate for internal deficiency by driving Hummers or BMWs, some by ordering invasions of countries based on lies, and yet others by writing snarky blogs. These wanna-be Einsteins do it by bellyaching about how dumb the rest of us are.

Well, fair fucks to them I guess. If that is what it takes to make them feel content, then I guess it’s a small price to pay. Besides, let the babies have their bottle. Me? I’ll just keep being an ignorant monkey. Anyway, those super-genius guys tend to think things like vanilla ice cream are dull and flavorless. Which is good, because I like vanilla ice cream. I like it a lot, and if they don’t want it, I’ll be happy to have their share.

Ook ook.