There's Nothing Nietzsche Couldn't Teach Ya 'Bout the Raising of the Wrist ...

Traffic in ellay is a mugs game. A never-ending grudge match against the idiots in SUVs, Westside richbitches applying makeup, and jackholes in BMWs just being their normal jackhole selves. Add a little rain, and things go from aggravating to incendiary in no time. Only the strong will survive, son. The slightest drizzle has the roads looking like the aftermath of Armageddon, with people weeping openly at the carnage strewn about them.

Yeah, driving in ellay is most definitely is a Nietzschian thing. You know what I mean, right?

Well, maybe you don’t. Pointy-headed German intellectuals whose philosophy tends to justify complete avoidance of personal and communal responsibility aren’t exactly fodder for pop-culture. Particularly one in which poker is a nationally televised sport.

But nihilism aside, it makes me wonder whether Nietzsche’s proclamation regarding the relationship between survival and strength is as immutable as people think. I mean, social Darwinists probably achieve climax thinking about it, as it does tends to prop-up their misanthropic view of life (it’s easy to make casual comments on the inherent value of some ethereal superiority of one's ancestry and genetic makeup when it’s some other geek that has to eat rats to survive).

But is it true? Does anything that doesn’t leave us cold and on a slab make us stronger?

Obviously what he meant was that life experiences that test us in some way (intellectually, physically, or so forth) serve to help us grow into more reasonable, wise, and complete human beings, and not that putting a gun to our head, pulling the trigger, and surviving because the bullet miraculously lobotomized only unnecessary tissue suddenly gives us super powers. He was wrong, of course. The more I think about it, the less I believe it. I mean, take that douchebag Texan lawyer (oh, sorry, using the term douchebag with either Texan or lawyer is redundant, isn’t it?) that got shot in the face by the Dick. Do you think that experience made him stronger or wiser in any way? I bet if the Dick calls him up for another round of murdering cage-raised fowl, he’ll saddle up and bring the beer.

But think about it. Tragedy strikes, or some sort of sudden conflagration or challenge to culture/heritage/religion/way of life erupts and what happens? Those who are unlucky get moved into the next plane, while those who emerge from the brouhaha do what? Do they say, “Gee, that was a great learning experience that has strengthened my character and made me much wiser in direct proportion to the difficulty I just encountered.” No. What the jugheads living through some sort of bump in their daily lives will inevitably do is chalk their survival up to divine intervention. Oh, the poor slobs that did't make it through? Well, I guess not only did god not die (another of Nietzsche's things), but he hated the poor losers so much he whacked them.

Am I rambling? Hell yes, I am. A good bout of traffic does that to me, Chachi. Especially when I am dosed up on caffeine, anti-histamines, and tequila. Just sit down, strap in, and shut up. I’m talking here.

The thing is, Nietzsche never had to drive in ellay traffic. If he did, that pompous egghead would never have come up with the sort of simpering nonsense about what makes people stronger. In traffic, no one can hear you scream, Bubba.

Ook ook.