Thursday, April 06, 2006

The Latest Cell Phone Accessory

So, a month ago or so, Swedish researchers apparently discovered a significant link between cell phone use and brain tumors.

The study, which looked at data from over 2,000 patients with brain tumors, found that individuals who "heavily used wireless phones [sic]" had a 240 per cent higher probability of developing a brain tumor on the side of the head where they most often used their phone than those who didn't fall into that cohort.

Hmmm ... heavy cell phone use and brain tumors. That goes a long way toward explaining the jackholes and retards on the roads here in LA.

The thing that caught my attention is how this is presented as somehow a bad thing. Think about this for a moment: which segment of the population tends to use cell phones at an extreme level? Hollywood agents, marketing geeks, prima donnas, Paris Hilton, blabbering fashionistas, idiot teenagers, slick salesmen, and the sort of tragically-hip poseurs and trendsters that developed a market for hair gel and wrinkle cream for men.

Seems to me losing these folks to brain tumors is a fair cop.

Ook ook

5 comments:

O' Tim said...

Ah, the technology of eugenics!

Hang on, I've got to take this...

My head hurts.

Anonymous said...

I LIKE salesman....AND organ donors. I don't like cell phones, though.

Perhaps this problem can still be solved. They could always do some experiments with MONKEYS...

Oh, and I'm guessing the organ donor thing works better here in America.... here they wait until you DIE.. .... they don't just show up one day and take your liver.

Deadman said...

Hey, Fez, call me. My cell number is the lower one on my card:

http://knockinonthegoldendoor.mu.nu/archives/166363.php

We'll chat about why peeps like contractors need cellphones because luddites like you refuse to live in caves.

;o)>

Deadman said...

The issue is not cell phones, but whether the peeps usiong them have MANNERS.

And this whole thing about them cusing cancer is the same load of hooey that was being claimed about radar guns. Bunch of bullshit, in my opinion.

Shiny Blue Black said...

I've had a cell since I was 15 (very early 90s), back when it was still an oddity.

I hate the bleeding things for a multitude of reasons. if it weren't for such an extreme control freak of a mother I would flush the damn thing down the toilet.

About the only thing it's good for is SMS and even then I dislike typing things out with my thumbs.

Face it, very few of us are actually SO important that we need to be contactable 24/7.